How to Lean on Your Childless Friends During Parenthood (Without the Awkwardness), by MOB Member and Connection expert Zoe Duce
As a parent, it’s easy to feel like your social circle becomes more child-centric, especially when you spend most of your time with other parents. But have you ever thought about how you can lean on your childfree friends without the awkwardness?
Turns out, your childfree mates might be just what you need to create a stronger bond with your kids – and to enjoy a bit of well-deserved time for yourself.
Here’s the story:
Last week, I had a catch-up with my best mate. We’ve created a lovely routine of going to the theatre every couple of months, which I absolutely love. But this time, I decided to check in with him on how we were spending our time together. “Are you happy with how we do things?” I asked, expecting the usual answer. What came next surprised me.
“I’d like to spend more time with River,” he said, referring to my son.
Now, to be clear, my best mate is a man about town, PR professional with no children of his own, so I didn’t see this coming. But he went on to explain that it would be nice for River to get to know him better. And you know what? It got me thinking about the importance of bringing childfree friends into your parenting life in a way that benefits everyone.
Why You Should Involve Your Childfree Friends in Your Parenting
As a parent, it’s easy to see your childfree friends as a separate part of your life. You might assume they wouldn’t be interested in spending time with your children, or you might worry about burdening them with your parenting duties. However, there are plenty of reasons why you should consider bringing your childless friends into your world – and not just for the occasional playdate.
Childfree friends can offer a fresh perspective, and let’s face it – they often make excellent mentors and role models for your kids. Think back to your childhood: who were the “fun aunt” or “cool uncle” figures that made you feel special? You probably have fond memories of times they broke the rules a bit – like letting you stay up past bedtime or buying you an extra scoop of ice cream. Why not let your kids experience that too?
By letting your childfree friends spend time with your kids, you’re giving your children the opportunity to bond with someone who is already an important part of your life. Plus, you’re giving yourself some much-needed freedom to take a break, knowing that your child is in safe, loving hands.
How to Make Spending Time with Your Childfree Friends Easy and Natural
If the idea of having your childless friend spend one-on-one time with your kids makes you nervous, here are a few tips to help you navigate the process without awkwardness:
Start Small: Begin with simple activities, like going for a walk or grabbing a coffee with your friend and your child. This can help your friend get comfortable without feeling overwhelmed.
Clear Expectations: If you’re asking your childfree friend to spend more time with your child, set clear guidelines. What are your child’s likes and dislikes? What should your friend do in case of a tantrum? A little communication can make a big difference.
Don’t Overthink It: Remember, your friend doesn’t expect you to have everything perfectly planned. They just want to spend time with your child and enjoy some quality bonding time.
Make It Beneficial for You: Don’t be afraid to take advantage of this opportunity for some me-time. While your friend takes your child to the cinema or for a treat, you get a few hours to recharge.
Express Gratitude: Show your appreciation with a thank you – maybe a dinner or even just a heartfelt note. It goes a long way in making the experience enjoyable for everyone.
I have a 10 minute masterclass on how you can set up the whole process here.
The Long-Term Benefits of Having Childfree Friends in Your Parenting Life
Getting your childfree friends involved in your parenting life isn’t just about a few fun days out. It’s about building lasting relationships that benefit everyone involved. Your child forms a stronger bond with trusted adults, your friend gets the joy of being a positive influence, and you get the added benefit of an expanded support network.
How to Foster Strong Bonds Between Your Child and Your Friends
If you're wondering how to get started, consider these ideas for fostering meaningful connections between your kids and childfree friends:
Invite Your Friends to Family Gatherings: Holidays, birthdays, and family dinners are great opportunities to include childfree friends in your child’s life. They might be excited to attend and see a different side of your world.
Let Them Be the “Fun” Ones: Invite your friends to treat your kids to experiences they might not normally get, like a trip to the zoo, a movie night, or a baking session. It’s all about making memories without the pressure.
Open Up About Your Parenting Journey: Share your thoughts and challenges with your childfree friends. Let them see the real side of parenting, and they may feel more connected to you and your family.
Conclusion
The next time you’re planning a night out or even a casual weekend activity, don’t hesitate to involve your childfree friends. They may surprise you with how much they want to be a part of your family’s life – and it could make all the difference for both you and your kids.
I’m Zoe, a connection expert, and my mission is to help mums rebuild their relationships—whether it’s with friends, partners, or even themselves. I’ve seen firsthand how meaningful connection can bring joy, energy, and a renewed sense of purpose into your life.
Let’s Work Together
If you’re ready to feel connected again, I’d love to help. You can:
Follow me on Instagram: @movethru_
Explore my 1-2-1 sessions or join my community, ReKindle Your Relationships: https://linktr.ee/movethru
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